Tattling is one way that children point out problems rather than trying to make
the situation better. It's important to teach children what offenses they
should report to a parent and what they should try to resolve on their own or
just ignore.
Parents need to know when property or people are in danger, but many of the
daily infractions or mistakes fall into a gray area requiring discernment on
the part of a parent and child. You don't want to remove all reporting of
offenses because sometimes you'll rely on one child to help you know when
another is in danger or in trouble.
Sometimes a child should overlook an irritation and not be so easily provoked.
If a child has tried to resolve the problem, and the offense isn't one to drop,
then the child should report it to an adult. This isn't tattling. It's
following a biblical model of conflict management. The Scriptures teach that if
a problem can't be resolved between two people, then one should get another
person involved in the process (Matthew 18).
The way the offense is reported and the motivation behind the report is
important. If you sense that your child is just trying to get the other child
in trouble, then that report is motivated by selfishness and is considered
tattling.
You can use tattling to teach children how to report offenses in an honoring
way, without exaggeration or coloring the truth, and admitting their own part
of the problem. Like many issues in family life, tattling can be a great
teaching opportunity.